Book #49: Real Moms: Making it Up as We Go by Lisa Valentine Clark

I've read Clark's sister-in-laws' blogs for years and years now (C. Jane and Stephanie Nielsen) and I've read about her being mentioned in those spaces. I remembered her because of her maiden name being Valentine and of course, that is cute and distinctive enough that it stood out. From what I've gathered about her, she is an actress and her husband is a playwright and director and they are very talented people, and this book just confirms that. She says that this is the book nobody asked her to write, that any mom could write a book about mothering, and she's definitely not trying to give advice, but she does share a lot of thoughtful ideas about parenting, mothering, and the struggles we all face, whether it be fears of our children resenting or rejecting us, or just trying to live in this era of Pinterest-style motherhood. Each chapter is like an essay with some funny moments, lots of real confessions about things that she has done and experienced as a mom, and musings about how we make our lives more difficult than we need to be and the amazingness of being a mom even with it all. I wish I had marked some of the chapters or places that really stood out to me, because I want to be more specific, but I can't really remember anything great right now except for the last chapter, where she talked about how the Atonement can make up for all of our fears of what our children will use their agency to do, and how we are all unified together through the Atonement. (The book isn't very preachy or churchy the majority of the time. It's clearly meant for an LDS audience with a few references to church stuff throughout but mostly she talks about things that apply to any mom out there.) At the end she talks about a race she did with her son, where he sprinted off at the end and she was trying to keep up with him, but then she realized in this race, like life, she was training him to run off without her. That's what we all do as moms; we are trying to create independent beings and work ourselves out of a job. It was a great way to end the book. I will re-read this one again, I'm sure, because she made me laugh and think and it helped me get out of a grumpy mom funk without being too sentimental and felt like someone was listening to me and understood why some days can just be junk.