First, for what I liked:
-This whole book is an argument that it's important for mothers to be "present" with their children as much as possible when they are young. She presents a lot of different research experiments in many different facets of parenting/child development that concur with this argument, and I really liked getting that information that supports my already-strong conviction that staying home with my kids is important. It's important for their emotional development to not be separated too much from their mothers, and they need the sort of nurturing relationship that is almost exclusive from the mother. All of these things she talked about made me, as a stay-at-home mom, feel great about my life choices and helped me feel more motivated to continue to try and be emotionally present and supportive to my kids while I am physically present with them.
-I liked the non-religious argument that moms staying home is important. I feel like most people who are not LDS or strongly Christian do not have this view, and I liked this information- and research-based opinion.
-Some of the research was really interesting, like the differences between mothers and fathers. Our different hormones actually influence the way we nurture and interact with our children, and changing the balances of the hormones can change our nurturing as well. So interesting.
I did not like:
-Some of the stories about these moms who hate being with their kids or who spend 70 hours a week at their demanding jobs away from their kids made me want to cry. It is so common and obviously so damaging. I hate imagining all of these emotionally neglected kids and I wonder what sort of world these people live in? (Answer: the rich New York City world where everyone has to work at high-powered jobs and make tons of money.) I was SO MAD at the section where she talks about husbands being unsupportive and resentful of their wives desiring to stay home or work part time to be with their child more because they wanted them to "pull their weight" and make more money for them. What is WRONG with people???
-I felt like the author was extremely one-sided and sounded really judgmental at times, even though she was trying not to be. She didn't necessarily strike a great tone about women who work full-time--she obviously thinks that's a really really negative choice for your kid. Every time she talked about day care she sounded like it was the worst thing ever you could do for your baby, and while I definitely am grateful I don't have to send my child to day care, it seems very insensitive to all the moms who have no other option for their child.
-She seemed to basically blame EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM that children have on being raised by neglectful mothers, and blames all of mothers' problems with connecting with their children on THEIR mothers not wanting to be with them when they were babies. And the only solution she seems to offer is going to therapy. Which makes sense, because she's a psychotherapist and this is what she does. It just seemed a little heavy on her opinions and not necessarily open to the idea that not every problem that every child has is caused by insecure attachment to their mothers in their first year of life.
Overall, it was a good listen and I honestly think this book needs to be out there. Because if there are people out there like the women and men she talks about as her patients, who seriously don't know why their kids are struggling when they are with them for only an hour a day, then it is necessary. There are definitely some flaws with it, but I would read it again if I ever need a pick-me-up and reminder about why I stay home and why my choice to spend my time raising my kids is important--because nothing is worth risking the emotional health of my children if I can help it.
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