Book #38: The God Who Weeps: How Mormonism Makes Sense of Life by Terryl and Fiona Givens

Terryl and Fiona Givens came here to our stake to give a fireside a few months ago, and we pulled it together enough for both of us to go (with a sleeping Dane in his carseat--those were the days when he would sleep anywhere!). The fireside was about having faith even in the midst of having doubts, and it was a really beautiful and thought-provoking fireside. They talked a little bit about their book, and Tommy bought it for me as a gift for Mother's Day.

The book is basically explaining the basics of LDS theology. I'm interested in thinking about who the audience of this book is, because it's kind of hard to tell who they're writing for. It's not specifically meant for LDS readers (although obviously it's very applicable to us), but it is for people who accept the basic tenets of Christianity (that there is a God, that Christ is our Savior). The Givenses explain certain things that are clarified in our LDS scriptures and beliefs, like the nature of God as a loving, merciful Father instead of as an all-powerful, unknowable being; the necessity and benefits of the Fall and the reasons why coming to earth was more of an ascent than a descent, as a stepping-stone to eternal life and divinity; the reality of heaven as more than just angels floating around on clouds but instead as the glorified versions of the relationships that we have and cherish now.

I was interested by the logic the Givenses used as they explained all of these points. Like I said, they started from the assumption that they (and the audience) believe in God, and instead of trying to prove empirically that He exists, they simply point to elements about ourselves as humans that make the idea that there is a God reasonable and resonant. For example, to justify the idea of a premortal existence, they discuss "the sense that we are pilgrims in a strange land" that is "one of the most universal themes in human culture" (page 40). They quote many different poets (Wordsworth, Coleridge, Herbert) and philosophers who wrote about this deep feeling, which the Givenses claim is "a simple longing for our true home." I personally feel like this explanation resonates with me, but I don't know if it would be accepted by people who don't share our faith or basic assumptions of Christianity. (Although maybe those people just haven't yet felt this yearning.) I think that discussion of feelings and emotions, and basing decisions and beliefs based on those, is not given the same credit in our society as logical, empirical knowledge. Religion is based on faith and trust and feeling the Spirit, so people who don't give those things much credence wouldn't be swayed by these arguments. But I believe both types of knowledge are important, and the Givenses are kind of mixing the two of those, it seemed.

Both of the Givenses are incredibly well-read. This was obvious in the fireside, but it is incorporated into nearly every paragraph of this book--there are quotes from famous poets, novelists, and philosophers, as well as from the scriptures. I really liked how they included these quotes as evidences of the points they were making--lines from poems to explain what we humans long for and quotes from plays to show snippets of human character. These quotes gave a lot of depth to their arguments and emphasized the universality of the theories and thoughts about God and life that the Givenses were claiming. The writing in this book is also clearly affected by their reading, because it is beautiful, metaphorical, and poetic.

These were some of my favorite points made in the book (there were many more, but these are the only ones I marked and could therefore find again):

"The philosopher Bertrand Russell may have stopped short of seeing the giver behind the gift, but he was right about the poverty of puritanism for its own sake. 'The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible,' he said. He then made his point with the simple example of a taste for strawberries. 'There is no abstract and impersonal proof either that strawberries are good or that they are not good. To the man who likes them they are good, to the man who dislikes them they are not. But the man who likes them has a pleasure which the other does not have; to that extent his life is more enjoyable and he is better adapted to the world in which both must live. . . . The more things a man is interested in, the more opportunities of happiness he has'" (pages 70-71). I think this is so true! People's lives seem so much more rich when they have deep interests in things and when they have a positive outlook on life. It's part of living an abundant life.

"We are becoming what we love and desire. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, 'We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. . . . What we are worshipping we are becoming.' Every moment of every day our choices enact our loves, our desires, and our aspirations. And we are molding ourselves into the God or gods we thereby worship" (page 87). The authors are here talking about becoming more like God, and how we do that every day (if we choose to). And I think it can also be applied on a more mundane basis as well: if we look up to people who are well-read and love them, we can work to become that type of person every day. Our actions every day impact what type of person we are becoming (all the way up to becoming like our Heavenly Father).