Book #53: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

I've heard a lot about this book, like everyone else, and I read a lot of articles and arguments that people have written about. So I finally decided to get to actually reading the book itself, and checked it out from the library. Sandberg's "feminist manifesto" of sorts is not as dramatic as many people made it sound (but that of course is probably because I have already read so much about it so I was already familiar with her argument). She argues that in addition to all of the external obstacles that women face to success, there are also internal obstacles and de-motivators that women struggle with and need to overcome before we can live in a world that's truly equal. The first few chapters are outlining the main problems women are facing (within themselves and without) and the rest of the book is Sandberg's suggestions for how working women can solve those problems and what they can do to become leaders and reach the point in the career that they want. She sprinkles personal anecdotes throughout the book to illustrate points that she makes, which I found to be compelling and interesting. It definitely was illuminating to read about her lifestyle and her experiences working at the U.S. Treasury, Google, and Facebook.

I think Sandberg makes some really important points, and I feel like she was gives all women, whatever their career path, leeway to apply her points to their lives. I appreciate how fair she tried to be to women who chose to work, chose not to work, or chose to scale back on their work. All the same, it was interesting to read this book as a non-working woman, who isn't necessarily planning on a big career. I think she is really writing this book for women who want to be CEOs of companies (and are able to consider that as a career goal)--which, she points out, there are far too few of in our society. And on the one hand, I agree with her. She lists many, many depressing statistics about how few women there are in leadership positions and how women are viewed in workplaces for exhibiting ambitions and aggressive, hard-working habits that are usually associated with men. And I feel strongly, like Sandberg, that those inequalities should be evened out and that the world would be a better place if things were more fair in all of those situations. But then, I also think that it's hard when you get down to individual situations. I imagine most of the business school colleagues that she talks about who end up dropping out of the workforce and having children would agree with her, but they also did what they wanted to do (hopefully) by deciding to stay home. As a current stay-at-home mom myself, I think that things should be evened out--but I'm happy for other people to do that while I do what I'm doing. I want gender norms to be equal in the workplace, but I don't want to have to do it. It's a lazy position to be in, but it doesn't work to shame people who aren't participating (not that I think Sandberg is doing that at all--she definitely seems fair and even-minded to whatever choices women decide to make).

I did really enjoy her chapter on making your husband (or partner) a real partner in all of the childcare and homemaking responsibilities. One point she stresses is that men should be respected for staying at home as much as their wives might be, and also that men and women need to balance their careers together so that both the father and mother are helping pick kids up from school when is needed. I think that's always true--even when one parent is staying at home. (And of course, Tommy is a great example of doing this--just to clarify!)