Book #128: Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

Austin motivated me to read this book by loving it and talking about it a lot the last year or so. I even (gasp!) bought a hardback copy on Amazon, which shows how committed I was to it (I almost never actually buy books unless I've read them before and know I want them). And it was worth it. I really, really loved this book and was inspired while reading it to make some changes in my life to develop more grit. (I don't know if I actually will go start a non-profit to give books to poor kids like I was imagining while reading this book, but that's the power of the concepts Duckworth talks about--to inspire such ideas. Now I just need more passion and grit to actually do it.)

I don't know that I can summarize this book in a coherent way, so here are some of the most interesting points I got out of it in bullet form:
- Talent isn't as important as effort. Many of us have potential (based on our talent), but whether we actually achieve anything depends far more on our effort. She says effort counts twice as much as talent when it comes to our abilities to get anywhere in our goals.
- We love the idea of genius and most of us actually have a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset. We don't want to fail and we don't want to get things wrong, even though we say to our kids that it's okay to make mistakes. We also somehow think that we are stuck with how smart we are, but, spoiler alert: that isn't true.
- "Grit" is the main quality that determines whether people will give up or quit on things, and it also is the main quality that determines how much people achieve and how successful they are. Grit has two main aspects: passion and perseverance.
- Passion means having one overarching goal/compass that guides your life (or at least your career), which all of your lower-level goals lead towards. You can develop passion through interest, deliberate practice, and having conviction that your work matters--to you, and to others.
- Three ways to cultivate a sense of purpose in your work: 1. Reflect on how the work you are already doing can make a positive contribution to society. 2. Think about how, in small but meaningful ways, you can change your current work to enhance its connections to your core values. 3. Find inspiration in a purposeful role model.
- Parenting for grit: be authoritative (aka, supporting but demanding.) Be warm, respectful, and demanding of high expectations. Make your kids do hard things and hold them to high standards. Extracurricular activities can help kids do something hard and learn those lessons about not quitting. When they are in high school, kids need to stick to extracurriculars for more than one year to learn how to stick to hard things. Create a culture of grit and perseverance in your family.

This book made me think. A lot. I felt a little worried while reading it, thinking that maybe I don't have much grit. But I think I might just be thinking that because I don't have a career to point towards or outside commitments. Do you even need to have grit if you aren't worried about becoming a world-famous violinist or becoming a CEO or achieving something spectacular like that? Would it improve my life other than being a good example to my kids? Duckworth does talk about having different high-level goals for your career and your family life, but since I don't have a career, I feel like I don't have a place to really achieve anything or succeed (like she is talking about in this book).

That makes me think--should I focus on developing a skill or something outside of my kids? I have lots of hobbies, but I don't try to excel very much in any of them. Reading, exercising, and cooking aren't necessarily things that I'm working hard at improving at, although I do them regularly. But I think I could take any one of those hobbies and improve in and make them into something that has purpose (like my non-profit idea, maybe someday). The main reason I felt like I don't have grit is because I don't have a strong passion about anything, other than raising my kids. Not that that's not an important passion, and there are lots of aspects to it in which I could improve, but it isn't quite what Duckworth is talking about. I just have a lot of things to think about, in doing something meaningful for myself and in raising my kids to teach them and help them develop grit.